Cause these things will change

Hey everyone!
It's been a while I know, I know. I promise I'll try to be better about posting. Anyways, before I get down to it, a little bit of self promotion. Check out my brand spankin' new tumblr. Woohoo! http://sydlynneapps.tumblr.com/
Come on...you know you wanna click it! And you can stalk my every move by following me on my twitter! sydlynneapps DO IT.

Anyways, I've been pondering a HUGE decision lately. Not gonna give ya'll the specifics, because I'm scared of the crazy people that might actually read this blog but trust me when I say it's huge. Basically I'd be away from all my friends and family for four months. I know to all you college folks that doesn't sound too bad at all but THEN I have to come back! I feel like everything will have changed and I'm not going to be a part of it. And the worst part is NO ELECTRONICS. That's right, I have to earn my phone calls which are timed on a landline. I can't even post to you guys, even if you all are creepy weirdos, I love you. :) At the same time it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. It just effects so much! It effects friendships, school work, summer plans, winter break plans, and even my love life WHICH CURRENTLY EXISTS. Yes, I know, it's quite hard to believe. Of course at an incredibly bad time, I finally find a sweet, kind, cute, hilarious guy. AND I HAVE TO LEAVE. Ughh, decisions, decisions.

I really should be doing homework so I'm going to go, Love you all!
-Sydney

Lost in a sea of unknowns

Ciao Interwebs!
Have you ever just felt like you have no clue what it is you want, all you know is that you need something new? That's how I've been feeling lately. Like I need something fresh and new in my life. What that something is, I have no clue. Is it a someone? Maybe but if it is someone I'm not sure who it is. I need a change. I'm bored with my life's current state. Sure, I've been partying a lot more lately but that only takes you so far. When you sober up all that fun and that thrill and that feeling is gone. I want something that stays with me. It's almost like I've been numb lately. I need something to help me feel again.
Finally Under Emotional,
Sydney

You can't break a broken heart

Hello there cyberspace. It's been months since I've been on. I honestly have no clue what's been keeping me away from you. What I have recently discovered that although it kills to get your heart broken, nothing is worse than knowing you're slowly and painfully breaking someone else's. I cannot begin to understand why anyone would ever want to break hearts. Recently, believe it or not, i have been the one doing the heartbreaking and let me tell you it sucks beyond belief. Whenever we talk, I feel as if I'm crushing everything. When you hear the tone in their voice change from happy and light to hurt it breaks your heart. When someone's face lights up when you enter a room and you know when you're done their expression will be one of pain and sadness it crushes you. I may be overdramatic, but I feel like it's important to make sure that when people have the chance to break a heart, they do it with compassion, kindness, and respect. I'm exhausted, so that's all for now. I'll write again soon!
-Sydney

It's like a shout at the devil meets a careless whisper

Hey guys! It's been forever! This is sort of going to be a rambling post because I'm not quite sure what I want to write about, so bear with me. Lately things have been a little bit hectic. I'm busy with all the shows I've been doing costumes for this year. But mostly things have been crazy in my head. I can't seem to figure out how I feel about anything. I usually get SO annoyed with indecisive people, but now I've turned into one. It's almost like I don't trust myself anymore. Maybe my confidence level has gone down or something? I'm not quite sure what it is that I need to do to get that oomf I used to have back, but I do know that I need to figure it out soon. This is driving me crazy. I hate questioning myself and I've been doing it all the time lately. I've got a lot to think about, so I'll leave this extremely lame post at that. Sorry, this was no fun. I will try to post more often and be more interesting.
Forever Confused,
Sydney