i don't care for your fairy tale

My title comes from a WONDERFUL Sara Barielles song. Anyways. I haven't written in a while, I've been crazy busy. Despite the craziness there isn't much to write about. Usually I would find something to write about someone, but the someone I'm currently interested in writing about cannot be merely described in a few words on my petty blog. Is he perfect? The total opposite. Is he nice? Ehhh. Is he smart? He's bright as a bulb and never lets me forget it. There's just some sort of magnetic attraction and I have no clue what it is. It's not like I'm in love, no. But I've never pictured myself having any feelings besides hatred towards this person and now mixed in with this absolute hatred is something more? I didn't think it was possible. Whatever. I'm over it. I'm not looking for a guy to distract me from what I want. That's what I hate about liking someone. Whether they like you back or not your mind automatically drifts back to them and you can't focus on anything fully. This semester I decided to make big goals for myself not only for schoolwork but for other things as well and it just seems like my constant pondering of what these feelings are that I have for this guy are getting in the way of me achieving them. Anyways, finding a guy like this is hard so maybe I shouldn't blow it this time? Oh boy, I've got a lot of thinking to do. MuchoLove, Sydney